he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i've created a new STD.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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