they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
