How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My balls are so social today.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
