Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
