i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
