): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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