so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize