Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
