Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
