I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
