theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
