Do vagina's smell?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
