2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
