naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
