I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
