Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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