i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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