Sponge bath it is.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
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if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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