i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize