Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I deserve this hangover.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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