She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
