Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
