I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
