I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize