the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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