I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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