he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
