Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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