god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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