Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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