We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
