i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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