peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize