My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
