good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Randomize
