I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
