New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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