piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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