i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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