she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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