I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
