let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
