is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
