so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize