Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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