We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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