So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
