I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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