There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
