Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
