You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
