I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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