I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
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Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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