I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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