we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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