so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
smell my finger.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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