from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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