sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
