She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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