please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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