if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
