Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize